John Oliver Gets Ready For Britain's Own Independence Day

John Oliver ended his show on the upcoming British election on July 4th to call for celebration after fourteen long years of Tory rule. As he said, “If Britain stands together, this July the 4th, it will finally celebrate its Independence Day.”

JOHN OLIVER: And I will say, if the U.K. can successfully rid itself of the Tories next month, that’s not cause for a shrug, that’s cause for a celebration. And I know that celebration’s not something that comes naturally to Britons. The country’s most famous motivational slogan is “Keep calm and carry on” and even that morale booster basically amounted to, “I know you’re about to die, but there’s no need to make a scene.” That was supposed to get us through World War II! But if Britain can extricate itself from the party whose unremitting cruelty has stained the last decade and a half of British life, that does deserve to be marked. And I know dancing in the street doesn’t really fit with the British character. So instead, why not celebrate what’s hopefully about to happen with the most British symbol imaginable: a rainstorm. ♪ ♪ Because on July 4, Britain has a chance to wash itself clean of 14 miserable years of Conservative rule. And it’s a chance it simply must take. If I may quote Bill Pullman, yelling about aliens, if we do this, “the Fourth of July will no longer be known as just an American holiday, but also as the day when Britain looked at the Conservatives who’ve driven the entire country into a ditch, and said in one voice, loud and clear, fuck off into the sun, you cunts, fuckpigs, and weirdos. You tossers, wankers, dicksplashes, and cockwombles. If Britain stands together, this July the 4th, it will finally celebrate its Independence Day.”

That’s our show. Thank you so much for watching. We’re off for the next few weeks, back July 21st. Good night!

[Cheers and applause]

Give us freedom! Wash these fuckers away! Wash them away!

[Cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

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